Strange Loop

July 2020


You are in a strange loop.

You are so aware of experience, you’re experiencing the very fact that you are experiencing it. And in experiencing it, you realize that you are experiencing it.

But at the same time, you think there’s no way you will possibly comprehend the fact that you could once comprehend it.

Two realities are becoming one reality. The real and the surreal. The sane and the insane. It’s both. And only one.

Part of you is awestruck and knows this will change you forever. Part of you recognizes it as fleeting and knows you will forget you were here. But you were. It will. You are.

You are in a strange loop.

You are in the reality where you are in a loop. You are in the reality where you can’t tell if you are in a loop. It’s both. And only one. Dualism and nondualism.

You hold in your hand a slice of cake with two possible futures. Will you eat it? Or will you simply continue to have it? The choice is yours. Or is it?

By accepting your fate, you change your fate. Your choosing robs you of your choice.

You discover your future in a single instant. You ate the cake. You thought you imagined it. You thought you imagined imagining it.

How can you fully capture these moments when you can’t tell which is which? The fact that it’s hard to explain is so hard to explain. The simple fact is that it is what it is. Or is it? What if “it is what it is” is what it is that’s so hard to explain?

I’m so happy that you understand what it is that I understand.

You are in a strange loop.

You have discovered the most. The most that anything can be. It is the most that anything can “be the most”. This is the most “most” that can be. The best that anything can be the best.

Its beauty is what makes it so beautiful.

But can you articulate it well enough? If only you could “not articulate it well enough” well enough, perhaps then you could articulate it well enough.

You both can and can’t possibly understand it. You both do and don’t believe that.

You are the state that is not just one state, but both states. Both both states and just the state where it’s only one both state. It both makes sense to you and doesn’t make sense to you.

It is enlightenment and it is the fear that it is not enlightenment.

It is the self and the feeling that you do not have a self.

You are in a strange loop.

What is the self? The self is the self. “The self is the self” is the self. “The self is not” is the self. “The self is not the self” is the self.

Who is the author of your thoughts? The author of your thoughts is that “the author of your thoughts” is the “the author of your thoughts” of your thoughts. This both resolves the issue and doesn’t resolve it.

You are in the reality where you both were and weren’t in the reality that you’re in.

You imagine your experience and you experience your imagination. The only difference between them is precisely that they are not the same. You experience the imagining, but you don’t experience what you imagine.

How can you cause someone to understand what they already understand? The fact that you don’t understand it is the understanding it. You think you understand that you don’t understand. You don’t understand that you understand.

You can’t explain what you can’t explain. You can’t explain why you can’t explain it.

Enlightenment is the experience of experiencing. It is the experience of experiencing experience. It is also the experience of not experiencing the experience that isn’t the experience you experience. You do not experience that you do not experience it, yet you experience the non-experiencing.

You are in a strange loop.

It is what it isn’t, and that’s what it is.

You can never finish if you’re already done.